I want to go back,

I want to go back, not to change what happened but to speak up. Tell them I love them, tell them I’m sorry but I have to experience and explore. I want them to see how painful these decisions were, to come out and to leave. I want to tell them that I think of them constantly. I can’t take back my actions and i wouldn’t have it any other way. I want them to know that it’s a painful experience with happy bumps. There’s so much distance between us. When I see you in public it’s like looking at strangers with cold eyes. You blame yourselves for me leaving, well you should.